Lately I’ve been going through the motions of life without really feeling anything. I’m not low in mood or depressed, but there’s something not quite keeping me feeling connected. I could place the blame with my hormones because they’ve been strong this month. I could say it’s the busy work schedule I have or the long commute. It could be the changing seasons and the presence of darker evenings creeping back in now we’re in autumn. I’m feeling disconnected because I’ve not looked after myself. I have once again tried to turn into the superwoman that is capable of looking out for everyone except myself. I know I do it and it’s a constant pull for me to be there for others instead of being there for me. I’ve let myself down again and broken my own promises that I wouldn’t do it again! Feeling disconnected from myself means there’s not much positive emotion inside of me, there’s plenty of frustrations and spikes in temper though. This isn’t how I want to live my life but it’s a hard habit to break because I was born to be there for people and help to heal them through listening, words, touch or just being there.
Does this resonate with you? Are you always there for others but haven’t stopped to focus on you for a while?
Today I’m making a new promise to myself. This week I am going to look out for me. It starts with eating healthy food (food that I want to eat rather than what is appealing to the rest of my family!) and going to bed early. I’m not going to sleep when I go to bed, I’m carving it out as me time. There will be no mindless scrolling through facebook or Instagram, I’m going to use it as a time to nourish my senses through reading and learning about something, allowing my brain to think about things other than the daily routine of what’s for dinner.
These small steps won’t make a huge difference but they will give me some space and a chance to pause. In this pausing time my mind, body and soul will replenish and I will begin to feel my energy return so that I can feel connected again. Connection for me is feeling close to my spiritual side and knowing my intuition is strong to guide me through each day, and I get this from giving myself space and time.
I know if I stay in this disconnected phase too long, I’ll lose sight of what is important to me and the goals I’ve set myself this year and I don’t want to return to the place of not knowing who I am and what’s good for me.
Share your thoughts on how you keep connected to yourself or what you do to get back on the self care train when you’ve had a momentary fall.